If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

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What do you get when you mix your mom and your dad? YOU!!!

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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why was little jimmy sad? he had a frog stapled to his mouth why did little jimmy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why did little jimmy fall of the swingset? he didnt have any arms what did little jimmy want for Christmas? parents what did he get for Christmas? cancer knock knock whos there? not jimmy

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why was your family so sad? because you died due to your uncle's son's cousin urinating all over you as a baby causing you to sting yourself continually. did i mention you were born as a scorpion while your family members were all human beings making them neglect and throw you away in their trash when you would always climb out. your family secretly hid affection for you. back to the beginning. when you died everyone in the whole world except bill cosby got cancer at the exact moment you died, but years later (because bill cosby is immortal), he got down syndrome after everyone who was alive during your death died. that is why he goes doo dop bip babbity today.

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your mom is so blind she cant read.

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Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

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Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

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Q: Why did the singer stop singing? A: Someone threw a car at her face.

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Where does piglet look for Pooh? The hundred acre forest, you creep.

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knock, knock. come in.

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he, he's blind.

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So, I was eating out this girl Until I tasted something like horse semen. So I looked up at her and said; " Ah grandma, so that's how you died ! ".

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what language does the turtle speak? i dont know I'm not a turtle.

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Yeah, I assumed so, but I got kinda worried at the same time. Huh... The catchthing says trolololol, no coincidence at all huh? Anyway, take that last comment Nero, I am spent.

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

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What is worse than 20 black men stealing your TV? Having your family die in tragic car accident.

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What happened after September 11, 2001? September 12, 2001

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What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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What the difference between water and water? Nothing, they're both water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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