What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? Doormat.

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whats worse then the worst thing that happened in your life? nothing.

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What looks like half an apple? The other half.

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what do you call a guy that has a mouth, but cannot speak? a poor freshman who has been commanded by a Senior not to speak.

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Why wasn't the turkey hungry on thanksgiving? Because it was dead!

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick

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What happens when you are a fat 37 year old virgin, with a small penis, poor bone structure, pale skin, a horrible personality, and no friends? You spend all night writing anti-jokes...will someone please like me?

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Are you from Nebraska? 'Cuz you're the only ten i see.

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A father of four joins the military. He returns home after his service.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Chickens live in farms, they don't cross roads.

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How big is kevins Dick? Idk ask his mom!

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There once was a man from berlin He knocked on a door to go in He got such a fright When the house did ignite That he never went knocking again

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How do you get a one armed man to fall out of a tree? Wave.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Roses are ??red Vilotes are ????blue I am single and now so are u???? no go move on I don't need u I have some weed and I'm willing to kill u

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Why did the man have trouble breathing after meeting the President? He had a collapsed lung.

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What did the athletic white boy say to the aids carrying African boy? Ha.

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what's faster than an asian on a bicylce on payday? many things

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Q: Why are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

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Your mama so stupid. She tried to climb over a glass wall to see the other side

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The Police then give the S.W.A.T team the signal, and bust down the door and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door is Carlos Pedrojeuz, a serial killer, meth addict who has been a part of the sex slave trade for a decade. One might think of answering the door next time.

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What did the person do at the stop sign? Stop

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A terrorist walks into a bomb shop. He soon realizes he's in the wrong shop, leaves and goes on with his day.

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a man walked into a bar "ouch"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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