Why really answer a question when you can just respond, "because you touch yourself." For example, Q: Why did fluffy die? A: Because you touch yourself.

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So a female ant walks into a bar... and someone steps on it.

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a gay guy walks into a bar what does he do? buys a drink after a hard day at work

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How do you kill a fashion icon? First make sure their blonde and stupid like most. then take a barstool preferably or what ever is closest then........ WACK HER IN THE EMPTY SPOT WHERE HER BRAIN SHOULD BE.

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Knock knock Who's there? Death. Come with me.

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What do you call a fat man that can turn slim REALLY fast? Drew Carey

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What do you call putting a vehicle on the side of the road? Parking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had just been brutally raped by a lawnmower. The lawnmower had been hit by a car. The woman driving the car was suffering from Alzheimers disease. Which then escalated from the stress of the accident that she took her cat and ripped his right ass cheek then continued on with her day

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Q: Why is the earth round? A: I am Batman.

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Q. Why did the Mexican have to go back to Mexico? A. His mom died in an auto accident and no one in her village could afford to organize a proper funeral.

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Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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How long will it take for a dog to paint a color wheel? I don't know.

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This is a haiku I said this is a haiku You read a haiku

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how did little johnny die? i killed him

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

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want to hear a bird joke? no well, this is hawkward

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What the difference between a alien and you nothing

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what do get when you blend zebra, a cow and a walrus? A not very good smoothie

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Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

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A black guy and Hispanic guy jump off the Empire State Building at the EXACT same time. Who dies first? Who cares?!

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little Tommie is dead In a body bag Going to the dumpster Behind my house

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Q: How many banana peels does it take to run down the street, true or false? A: Telephone poles don't have doors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops