Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the voices told him to...

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Why was 8 afraid of 9? Because 9 bullied him until he became anorexic.

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How do you stop a car? Put on the Brake

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You know you have no friends when you write anti-jokes. [M]

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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whats the difference between colby and a high schooler? Colby hasn't matured yet

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People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people. But it's really not. You always have to explain it to them.

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What did the blonde do when she missed bus 40? She waited 30 minutes for it to come back around again.

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A dog walks into a bar and succumbs to heartworm.

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Wade's the father

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What do you call someone too young to drink? A minor

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What do you call 2 tigers, a zebra, and a walrus? A small zoo full of 4 animals

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Cry me a river. then try and build a bridge, fail, and walk away frustrated

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Q: who's Snow White's brother A: egg white Get the yolk!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Flappy Bird is no where near as annoying as you!

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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What did the German say when the whole of India blew up: "Wow, das muss eine gewaltige Explosion haben! Wie haben sie das geschafft?"

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A man walks into a bar and takes his seat. After a minute, someone shouts "133!" and this is followed by a couple of slight chuckles around the room. Later, "57!" is heard from the corner, followed by harsh laughter. After a while, someone shouts "66!" which is met by an uproar of uncontrollable laughter. The man, confused by the evening's events, asks the barmam what is going on. The barman explains, every joke has been told countless times so instead of reciting them, they are numbered and people call out the numbers. The man catches on to this, and therefore shouts "453!" which is followed by a deadly silence, because no one had heard that particular joke before, so 453 was just a number to them.

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Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I lost my job at the tire plant, and how, being out of work and unable to find a new job, I was unable to pay my mortgage. The bank repossessed my house, my wife left me and took custody of the kids, and I ended up having to sell all my remaining possessions and move to a new city in order to try and find employment.

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"We have such clean water we drink and do a lot of other stuff with it" The American said. "What other stuff do you do with your clean water" The African Child said. "Well we take showers in and we go to bathroom with it" The American said. "So let me get this straight you even take a Shit in it to" The African Child said.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Elephants cant jump Neither can amputees

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What's long, hard, and wet? A difficult college exam that fell in a puddle of water

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What do A Canary and a Groundhog have in common? Nothing, Groundhogs can fly, and Canaries can't dig.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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