How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

imagine a world without santa ill make it easy, lookout the window

thumb_up thumb_down +16

wanna hear a joke? not really

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why do the piglets have their heads down low? Because they are ashamed that their mom is fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Friends are like pickles. If you eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Whats worse that 10 dead babies in a trash can? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two 50 year old men walk into eachother on the street. one was born in a hobo shack and another was born in a mansion. what did the rich one say to the poor one? Hi, whats your name?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups, his personal trainer designed a regiment for him that didn't involve them.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Penis penis poop butt

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you have sex with hellen keller? Very sweetly

thumb_up thumb_down +14

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why don't men ask for directions? They want to appear knowledgeable and strong. Asking for directions is sometimes considered a sign of weakness.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the homeless man without legs and arms, get for Christmas? ... Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you say to a very ambitious dyslexic child? You're ambition is inspiring and I encourage you to follow your dreams. Some of the worlds greatest people, including Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill were dyslexic. Your drive is much bigger than your disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's bigger than the Loch Ness Monster? Loch Ness.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Hope you all drop the soap in prison

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Well the chicken was very confused and had no logical brain power to think or know where it was going. Once he crossed the road he went into the ice cream parlor but was soon kicked out due to lack on communication

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops