What did one potato say to the other. Let's get baked!( hope u dont mind that this isnt a anti-joke well i dont know what it is so sue me)

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Q:What did grandma get for christmas? A:a coffen

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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"You know what sucks?" "vaccuums?" "you know what meteforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "you what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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Whats black and smells like white paint? A) Black paint!

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Why did the african man wear no clothes? Because he liked being naked.

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The World Record For Longest Game of Hide and Seek goes to... Binladin

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Hitler arrives at his neighbor's barmitzfah... fashionably late.

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5

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I can't remember if I have Azheimer's or not.

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Six million.

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How many dislikes can this get?

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Q:If a lesbian woman is wearing a jean jacket, high heels, camouflage shorts, and sunglasses, what gender is she ? A: Sheep.

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knock knock!! kanye west

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Why did the girl die? No one knows.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

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There was a baby, and it wouldnt stop crying. So the mom shook it and shook it. Then it stopped crying.

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whats worse than shitting in a urinal??? shitting in a shower

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What do video games and school have in common? Nothing, nobody likes school

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hi

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good one jess !!

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he didn't have any arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Jimmy was a Potato.

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Whats black, blue, and doesn't like sex? The little boy in my trunk.

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Steven hawking drives into a bar Disability

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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