Knock Knock Who's there its me... we need to talk go away tod. i told you never to come back here babe, just open the door why? so you can beat me again? i said i was sorry! i just want to see my little girl... well maybe you should of been there for us! babe... i love you you lying son of a bitch... you dont deserve us open the damn door or i will beat it down im calling the cops YOU BETTER NOT BITCH! I WILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU! tod... please... get out come here no... NO! get the hell off of me!!!! HELP!! RAPE!! RAPE!!! SHUT UP WHORE (crying) please... please... ...mommy? SARAH! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! MOMMY LOVES YOU! ooh.. theres my little girl. you miss daddy? GET AWAY FROM HER!!! SHUT UP BITCH! come give daddy a hug what have you done to mommy? what you want some too? SARAH I SAID GET OUT THE HOUSE! GET HELP! ...mommy im scared... (sob) oh your crying? you want something to cry about? OH ILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT! .... you better get the hell out of here tod.. whoah... babe where did you get a gun GET OUT babe... put the gun down... relax NO YOU RELAX! all these years ive been raising this baby. without you. all by myself. and i dont want you in the picture now. ILL DO WHAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE ill see you in hell... (BANG) (BANG)

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

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What do you call a group of jews hiding in an attic? Well, this sounds very similar to the events during World War II in which Anne Frank and various jewish refugees hid from the Nazis.

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Why was Little Susie's IQ less than 30? Because, she is mentally retarted.

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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How did the Jewish husband and wife stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

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a drumset fell off a clif. Badoom ch.

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A man sees a bum laughing. He asks the bum "Why are you laughing", at which point the bum replies "I'm a bum!"

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A boy was constantly getting bullyed at school... so he went home

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks. Thumbs up if you get it.

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What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? Drowning.

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What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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who steals more than a black person?, a pirate.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm Blind.

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who likes it up the anus? jason frisone at saybrook ave 08094 williamstown new jersey thats who

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

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What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

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I did your mom..... A favor..... By making you..... A sandwich...... With mustard.....

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What swims in the ocean? Fish

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Q.why was ireland takin over by the brits A.they wanted it

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I have Alzheimer. What?

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If I could change one thing about the alphabet, knd stte bporw xzuor flllle !

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1. In 2010, 8.8 million people fell ill with Tuberculosis. 2. Up to 70,000 children died in 2010 due to Tuberculosis. 3. Tuberculosis is the leading killer of people living with HIV with 1.4 million deaths. 4. Death from Tuberculosis has dropped 40% since 1990. 5. No country has ever eliminated Tuberculosis entirely. 6. About 46 million Tuberculosis patients have been successfully treated since 1995. 7. Children under 5 years old rarely get the disease. 8. Edgar Allen Poe’s mother, foster mother, and wife all died of Tuberculosis. 9. It can take up to 12 months to recover from Tuberculosis. 10. People with tuberculosis have symptoms such as cough that “won’t go away”, a cough that brings up blood, a fever lasting longer than 2 weeks, night sweats, fatigue, or noticeable amounts of acute weight loss. 11. Nearly 2 million people die from tuberculosis yearly. 12. Tuberculosis kills 5,000 people daily.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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