What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Look out there's a bus in front of you

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A blonde, brunette and a redhead are taken captive by a native tribe. They didn't survive the encounter.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimers, Hey i just met you.

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This is not a joke.

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whats worse then the worst thing that happened in your life? nothing.

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"Hello?" "Is your refrigerator running??" "Yes..." "Oh. Well then have a nice day."

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yo mama's so fat!!!

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A Jew throwing a dime into a wishing well? Highly unlikely.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? Doormat.

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say yes will u remember me in a year?yes will u remember me in a month? yes will u remember me in a week?yes will u remember me in a minute?yes will u remember me in a second?yes knock knock whos there u said u will remember me u dick

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Why wasn't the turkey hungry on thanksgiving? Because it was dead!

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick

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what do you call a guy that has a mouth, but cannot speak? a poor freshman who has been commanded by a Senior not to speak.

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What looks like half an apple? The other half.

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Are you from Nebraska? 'Cuz you're the only ten i see.

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What happens when you are a fat 37 year old virgin, with a small penis, poor bone structure, pale skin, a horrible personality, and no friends? You spend all night writing anti-jokes...will someone please like me?

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A father of four joins the military. He returns home after his service.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Chickens live in farms, they don't cross roads.

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How big is kevins Dick? Idk ask his mom!

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There once was a man from berlin He knocked on a door to go in He got such a fright When the house did ignite That he never went knocking again

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How do you get a one armed man to fall out of a tree? Wave.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Roses are ??red Vilotes are ????blue I am single and now so are u???? no go move on I don't need u I have some weed and I'm willing to kill u

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Why did the man have trouble breathing after meeting the President? He had a collapsed lung.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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