A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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Q: What did one car say to another? A: Nothing. Cars can't speak.

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women playing football?

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Your mother is so old that her prom theme was fire

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What's worse than being held hostage? Waking up and finding dick your mouth

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A flock of ostriches run into a mine field

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What did the Scientist say to the bookstore owner he met? "Hi."

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How do you keep someone in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.

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why do black people hate chainsaws? the noise they make- run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run nigga nigga

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roses are red violets are blue i uhh umm hold on... the man with Alzheimers proceeds to think of the rest of his poem he wrote for his date, after an hour he remembers but his date has left and the staff proceed to guide him out and back to the insane asylum

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What did the robber take from the store? The managers dick

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How do you scare a 5 year old girl? Stick your dick out.

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Why did Martin go to school with no pants on? Because he had no legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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A Jew walks into a bar. It probably hurt

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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three men get stranded on a island and cannibals find them and they say go find 3 fruits and come back. first guy comes back with three apples and they say we will shuve them in your rectum and if you scream we will kill you he screams he dies. second guy comes back with grapes and he laughs before they can start. and in heaven the first guy says why did you laugh and he says there voices are funny.

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Two black guys jump off a cliff, who wins? The black guy.

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What did the Asian bookkeeper say to the Jewish dog? I love you

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

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A mushroom walks into a bard and the bartender admonishes him and tells him to leave. The mushroom says "Aw, c'mon...you stupid jerk!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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Yo daddy!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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