What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

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A guy comes to a doctor and says: - Doctor, lately I'm having this dream where I kill my father and rape my mother. What does it mean? - Nothing.

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Knock knock Who's there A drummer A drummer who I'm not knocking on your door

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what do you call a little girl next to a mexican? a rape victim.

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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what colour is a frog green you idiot

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Wanna hear a joke? A Republican political activist.

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What do you call a group of white guys playing basketball in Philadelphia? Actually, that already seems like a pretty good summary of the situation.

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Why do they censor everything on here? Because **** **** ******* *** ***** *****.

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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Why could the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

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What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

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What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

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What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? They were all human beings

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What is invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey Farts.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because eating raw chicken is just wrong.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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A: Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights B: Wanna hear another joke? Your sexist beliefs are why your single...

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What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? Drowning.

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Why are black guys good at basketball? Hard work and determination.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

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Why is it incorrect that the universe will end in 2012? Because profound idiocy doesn't always occur.

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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