What did the pacific ocean do to the Atlantic ocean? He waved.

After waking up at the break of dawn, a man saw his dogs food dish was empty. In slight excitement for his dog to finally eat after his dish being empty all night, he called his dog in from outside, expecting him to go straight to his food dish like always. The dog walked by without noticing.

Two computers walk into a bar I forget the rest

A six foot chicken, a horse, and a muskrat walk into a bar. They are then detained by animal control and the bar undergoes a thorough cleaning.

A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

What did the latino say when he was struck over the head with a shovel? "ouch"

A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

N

What did Steegers say when he lost his TARDIS? "The niggers stole it again!"

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet with his great grandmother who got rushed to hospital due to having an epileptical seizure and is in life threatning conditions.

How Long Is A Chinaman's Name

Why didn't the lobster share his treasure? Because he did not possess the cranial capacity to understand the concept of ownership; thus, he did not consider the treasure his

What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

What do you get if you cross a black man with a knife? Stabbed.

Don't look! I'm naked! No, seriously! I'm naked!

A batch of muffins is cooking in the oven, one muffin says to the others "it's hot in here!" the other muffins don't respond because they're muffins. He's the only of his kind.

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang-rape.

What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

What kind of cat has no tail? Manx cat

So this guy's taking a hooker back to a hotel room, right? The woman turns out to be a federal agent investigating prostitution in inner-city inviornments, and the man is promptly arrested. He is now subject to a large fine and 90 days in a county jail.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The colour of their skin.

Why was young Timmy crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

And so the poster says to the apple ........ Your not my dog

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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