Have you heard the one about the three tailed salamander that fell off a bridge? I haven't either.

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Your mamma is so fat that she went on a diet.

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Roses are red Violets are blue im a retard dictionary

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Let's see how many dislikes this can get!

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Roses are red, Violets are not blue, they're violet, which is why they're called violets.

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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson? I thought you were dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses can also be white And violets can also be purple

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did one gorilla say to the other? Urgh.

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Why did the creator of Anti-Joke.com make the website? Because he probably wanted to promote his book and make more money.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My van is coming, I'm gonna get you!

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Why did the man not make any change at his job? Because he is Barack Obama.

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A seal walks into a club. Do you like my new shoes?

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If I could change one thing about the alphabet, knd stte bporw xzuor flllle !

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1. In 2010, 8.8 million people fell ill with Tuberculosis. 2. Up to 70,000 children died in 2010 due to Tuberculosis. 3. Tuberculosis is the leading killer of people living with HIV with 1.4 million deaths. 4. Death from Tuberculosis has dropped 40% since 1990. 5. No country has ever eliminated Tuberculosis entirely. 6. About 46 million Tuberculosis patients have been successfully treated since 1995. 7. Children under 5 years old rarely get the disease. 8. Edgar Allen Poe’s mother, foster mother, and wife all died of Tuberculosis. 9. It can take up to 12 months to recover from Tuberculosis. 10. People with tuberculosis have symptoms such as cough that “won’t go away”, a cough that brings up blood, a fever lasting longer than 2 weeks, night sweats, fatigue, or noticeable amounts of acute weight loss. 11. Nearly 2 million people die from tuberculosis yearly. 12. Tuberculosis kills 5,000 people daily.

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There was an Irishman and an Australian who walked into a bar. There was also an American, who didn't. Why didn't the American walk into the bar? He was a midget.

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Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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q

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he wanted to.

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Why did Thomas miss school? Because he was sick

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GIRLS that think they can out-drink MEN.

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An airplane crashes into a state park. There are no survivors. Susan continues her stroll in the park, considering she is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair, she isn't aware of the nearby disturbance

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Knock Knock! Oh god Johnny, someones at the door! Hide the heroin and bail man, BAIL!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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