roses are red, violets are blue, get in that bed or I stick your head down the loo! Christian grey

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What do you call a white man flying a plane? A pilot. What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? Also a pilot.

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A Chinese man walked into a bar. He now has a minor concussion.

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting your nipple ripped off by a pair of pliers

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Why did the dude fall into a box? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

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What happened in your mom's locked bedroom last night I don't know

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses only the finest ingedients.

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who smells? •Liam

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Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt Getting stabbed.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet. You guys really suck at making poems...

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What do a a pickle and a rabbit have in common? They are both green...except the rabbit

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A man walks into a bar. The other one ducks.

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: Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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roses are red, violets? are blue, Im not good at poems, tits

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Billy comes home from playing with his friend as he walks to his front yard he comes across his mother...she is dead on the floor his friend then says "im SO sorry your mom is dead but at least you still have your dad" Billy than replies "my mom is my dad" billy then is put into a foster home and spends years trying to recover from the fact that he is the freak offspring of a hermaphrodite

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

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Why are hookers and babies so alike? You can have sex with both.

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Whats worse then getting caught watching porn? 9/11

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How do you stop moles from digging in your garden? Take the shuvel away.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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