Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q. What is a brown cow called? A. A cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A black man walks into a bar. A few minutes later a jewish man enters. Next door, a twelve year old girl is crying over the tragic death of her mother due to terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Do you want to hear the best joke ever? Me too!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead. Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? A: Because he was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A woman walked into a bar at least that is what she tells her friends about how she got a blackeye.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

roses are red violets are blue i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q. Why was the dad sad? A.His favorite team lost in the championship.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A russian gives away vodka.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a black airman? A pilot!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What is the Civil War called in Virginia? The War of Northern Aggression.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats worst than the world ending? Charlie Sheen Not Winning

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: What do you call a hobo asking for change? A: Get off my driveway!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Billy want cancer? So he could be like his parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

friends are like potatoes you eat them they die

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what happens when a jew meets a black person answer: they greet one another

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walked into a bar. He ended up in the hospital being treated for a concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

- Knock knock - I have a doorbell

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops