a guy gets knocked out and wakes up in a alley all bloody and a knife next to him!!!

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

Goku: KAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Freezebox: HOLY SHI... Narrator: Will Goku ever finish his attack? Will Freezebox stand there like a fucking bitch afraid for the next 48 damn epiodes rather than take a step to the side? Will the "Zee" fighters ever do anything else but comment the trucking obvious and stop aborting the show with their sweat? Find out in the next episode of... Moral: DRAGONBULL ZHIT!

One day i had to piss. I went to the bathroom.

why did the poet kill the blackchicken? as a source of inspiration for his poultry

What do you call a baby with no arms nor legs? An infant lacking limbs.

Why was the school field trip cancelled? The Holocaust.

What did one musician say to the other? "We should have gone to college."

Q: Why isn't Michael Jordan able to jump into space with only 1 leap? A: If that were possible, the supposedly absolute laws of physics would've been irreversibly violated to the full extent that the future of science would be in trouble and the future of some already mentally-unstable people would've been deeply jeopardized to a state that they couldn't naturally recover from.

Why did spongebob eat Patrick Because he was hungry

whats funny ? not you i am telling the joke around here

What's the difference between a pile of bricks and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of bricks in my basement.

Why wasn't the turkey hungry on thanksgiving? Because it was dead!

() () () () () () () ------ *__________* yo can go %$*# yourself =~~ 0

This is not a joke.

A Mexican, A Caucasian and An African American walk into a bar. Suddenly, a rival of the African American's pulls up in a used Chevrolet and shoots him 6 times with a semi-automatic handgun. The Mexican and Caucasian are distraught and call 911 immediately. The rival is later arrested and found guilty of murder in the first degree by a jury of his peers. Less than 6 months later, the bar is closed due to the negative stigma surrounding the shooting. Urban life is a harrowing and tough experience that most outsiders will never fully understand.

A Jew throwing a dime into a wishing well? Highly unlikely.

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were all of equal intelligence.

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Nick!" Because he knows him and is not racist.

Who can you NOT apply the term "Gentle Giant" to? Dwarfs.

poop

Why did the black person got to Wal-mart? Wal-mart has relatively low prices

Why did the man burn all the children? He was a psychopath.

what do you call a black man being hung from a tree? -prejudice

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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