Why didn't the boy get his sister a birthday present? Because it wasn't her birthday.

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Do you know what they say? Words

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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They say there is safety in numbers Tell that to six million jews

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Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

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Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

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I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

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Why did the Filipino hate internet advertising? Because navigating around a webpage with pestering visual and audible promotions often proves cumbersome and distracting from the task at hand.

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What's there like a good neighbor? Your neighbor

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What do you call a baby in a blender? The newest Doritos dip.

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Smart Blondes

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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How much does a polar bear way? Near 1,100 pounds.

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How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Being a jew in the Holocaust.

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When I see Debra walking her dog in the morning I often ask myself whose walking who!?

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Knock knock Who's there A drummer A drummer who I'm not knocking on your door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops