Why didn't the girl put on her mascara? Because she was too poor to buy any.

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Roses are red, That much is true, but Violet are purple, not ****ing blue

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Whats worse than swinging a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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how many moms can you fit in a bathtub? as many as you want

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what happened to your gran you tell me

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W.N.B.A.

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My mom caught me masturbating.

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Pickup line: Boy: Hey, do you have a library card? Girl: Yes

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How did the chicken cross the road? Chickens live in farms, they don't cross roads.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your friend Jim Oh hello Jim, please come in it is very nice to see you this fine evening.

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what happens when a girl poops? she wipes her butt.

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Where does lady gags buy her bran flakes ? Sainsburys

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Your momma's so fat, her doctor seriously recommends that she lose weight for the sake of her health and happiness.

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Do the Helen Keller... become mute, deaf, and blind.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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like a cammel, lewis stores his weed in his back

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I like my coffee the same way I like my woman with big tits I lied about the woman

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What happened when the joke was bad? crippled up like cancer of the eye

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how did the little girl die cancer

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If you are my friend like it!

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How do you get a one armed man to fall out of a tree? Wave.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. No, the Holocaust never happened, you're an idiot.

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Whats a dwarf running A running dwarf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops