Your mom is so fat that she is at risk for type two diabetes.

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Do you want to hear an anti joke? No.

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Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? .......................................................................................................................................... SEVEN EIGHT NINE!!!!!

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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drugs sex alcohol are as funny as AIDS

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Can you see this brett? Connor

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What's bigger than the Loch Ness Monster? Loch Ness.

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No. Yes.

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What's cooler than being cool? Being really cool

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

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Why does Polly want a cracker? Because meth is too intense.

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What's chris benoit doing? Just hangin in the gym

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from its imminent death. It was being chased by a dog with a shark's head and chainsaws for legs. It was only delaying the inevitable.

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A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

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THere was three bees eating Honeynut cherrios one of them had a speech impediment.

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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What sauce do chicken's hate? Bone suckin' sauce

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don't look behind you

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Two men are sitting on the couch watching sports, the first man farts, the second chuckles. They continue watching their program.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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