What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder of a 7 year old child.

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Dead babies and disabled kids. Jews, mexicans and black people. Hitler and prostitutes. Sex sex sex sex sex.

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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whats faster than the speed of light? a jew with a coupon

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Knock Knock Hows there Theres no time for this you have AIDS

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"My foot is killing me" "no, actually it's that noose around your neck"

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A- Knock Knock B- Who's there? A- Soccer!

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I know Mandarin, He's a good friend of mine

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How do you get an Irishman out of a bar? You politely ask him to leave.

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What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

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What's the difference between George Washington and Wiz Khalifa? George Washington died many years ago.

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What did Michael Jackson think when someone threw a tomato off his head? The same as he was thinking before it happened, because everything that goes through Michael Jackson's head is pornographic images.

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Q.What do you call a apple with a unibrow? A. A failed science experiment!!!

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"Hell nahhh I called shotgun" -Rosa Parks

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What did the Man say to the elephant Nothing this man does not speak, the elephant does though

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Joseph. Joseph who? Joseph Brown. Oh, hello Joseph! Why don't you come in? No thank you.

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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What's black and white, and red all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Wieners? A: Nothing. your last name is a male sex organ

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whats beter than a dead pile of babies? the alive one that has to eat its way out

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Women have the right to vote.

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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