What did the duck say when it walked into the house? This isn't where I live.

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A Mexican, A Caucasian and An African American walk into a bar. Suddenly, a rival of the African American's pulls up in a used Chevrolet and shoots him 6 times with a semi-automatic handgun. The Mexican and Caucasian are distraught and call 911 immediately. The rival is later arrested and found guilty of murder in the first degree by a jury of his peers. Less than 6 months later, the bar is closed due to the negative stigma surrounding the shooting. Urban life is a harrowing and tough experience that most outsiders will never fully understand.

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A Jew throwing a dime into a wishing well? Highly unlikely.

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A blonde and a brunette are falling from a cliff. They are going to die.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Nick!" Because he knows him and is not racist.

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A young man read a book. He then went back to the library to return the book, but got killed in a car crash on the way there.

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Why did the monkey follow the tree? Because it was dead.

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how did the monkey fall out of the tree he was stupid how did the monkey get a black eye he was hit by a bus how did the monkey end up in the sewer he got hit by another bus

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? Doormat.

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There are 263 birds on a fence, a farmer shot 1 how many are left? 0 the rest flew away.

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anti jokes

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't like anyone who is not a straight, white male.

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Your Momma's So fat, that she is quite unhealthy, and she should stop spending her life savings at fast food restaurants. Probably should stop drinking pop as well.

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What did the black man say to the other black man. We're both niggas.

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a man texted his wife saying "hey sexy, how was your day?(;" unfortunately, she never replied because she got in a cr accident and died from texting while driving.

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Why did the man go to the toilet with his brother? Because Mario and Luigi had to go down in it.

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why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

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What will you never see? A white guy that camp jump.

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing. He's been dead for over three years.

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What do you call a black man in a Police car? A Police Officer

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what do you say to a black man with a Porsche? "hey man, i like your car."

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Sarah Palin, George Bush Jr and Glenn Beck are having a massive orgy with an illegal mexican immigrant, a member of the NAACP and an empathetic selfless homosexual democrat...no condoms were used because only felatio and cunilingus was being performed...

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?ti saw won troffe eht htrow t'nsaw yllaer siht

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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