A man sees a bum laughing. He asks the bum "Why are you laughing", at which point the bum replies "I'm a bum!"

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knock knock whos there a boy a boy who ? oh, sorry he just got hit by a train.

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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Person 1- your face is a stupid joke Person 2- you're right, because it's not a joke its a face

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There were two muffins in an oven one muffin said, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin said, "AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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what did the black man say to the white man? hi

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Why did the child step on a ball?

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Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks. Thumbs up if you get it.

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Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

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Get in the Batmobile.

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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Why was it sad that the kid was playing football? He had no arms and legs and he was the football.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

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A:why did sam fall of the wing ? B:why ? A:she had no arms. B:... A:knock knock. B: who is there ? A:not sam

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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What does A duck smoke? Quack

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Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: 9/11 jumpers 200 stories in 5 seconds

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There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

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Why were the black man's balls so big He had testicular cancer

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Your mamma is so fat that she went on a diet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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