your mamas so fat her weight is 3.14 without the decimal

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Your mother is so stupid she never finished College thus having to work many menial jobs to provide for her family.

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What other than water contains H2O? The condensation reaction between two alpha glucose molecules to form Maltose.

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John Kerry walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "Hey, why the lost election?"

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how do u make a sausage roll push it down a hill

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted to be cool, But I look like you

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? There are many, no human being is exactly alike.

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what do you call a boomerang that never comes back? stick

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What do you call cheese that isn't your's? Someone else's cheese.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didnt have arms

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jewish people aren't edible.

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knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a serious alcohol problem that gave him violent tendencies.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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Dislike if you are gay (watch how many dislikes this joke gets :P)

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A man and woman was sitting at a bar. The man bought the woman a roofied drink and she has never been seen again.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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A Frenchman stays and fights

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anti jokes aren't always funny on here

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Yeah its just my way of saying that I appreciate you worrying so much about me, you are a sweet girl, Honestly I do not understand why the hell you guys are using Horsehead AntiJoke out of all places, there are far more terrible forgettable sites available, I mean this sites connection suddenly went from disgustingly terrible to fine and dandy, the Feds, the Interpol and even fucking Al Qaeda might be reading every single message, but there is no way in hell anyone can decipher the code format, if they could, they would have done it when I invented it sixteen years ago, Myself mind you, nothing subtle about me today apparently.

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if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

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why'd the women leave the kitchen? her chain broke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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