Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says"what can i get for you Sarah Jessica Parker"

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Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

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What did the gun say to the pencil? Draw

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Knock Knock! Oh god Johnny, someones at the door! Hide the heroin and bail man, BAIL!!!

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why do people just recycle the same jokes over and over are you that desperate for some f*cking attention? The Holocaust

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Guy: If you can guess what's in my hand, you can have it. Girl: If it fits in one hand, you can keep it!

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A:Your so fat that you take up the hole room B:If i am fat,Then i can crush you down thin head!

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fruit salad?

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what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

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Why did Miss Parkinson get hit by a bus? Because it missed Justin Bieber by a few inches.

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't, because feminists can never change anything!

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Why did the boy fall down the stairs Because I pushed him

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i was going to say a gay joke butt f*** it.

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A white man wakes up in the middle of the night and sees a black burglar trying to steal his hard earned possessions that he slaved many hours for, being a man who enjoyed living a man of luxury and hates people of foreign nature who steal his things said to him. " get out"

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yo momma so fat that she's fat

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Why did Riley cross the road? A: I lied he started to then proceeded to get hit by a bus filled with children causing them all to be scarred for life.

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What number comes after 29? 30.

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Why do jewish women like to get their sons circumcised? They like anything 25% off.

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer.

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What did timmy fall off the swings? He had no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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