How do you kill half the population of Mexico? A preemptive nuclear strike.

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A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

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What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

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What did one gorilla say to the other? Urgh.

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a gay guy? They're both gay

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

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why are the inside of a black mans hand white? cotton residue

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How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

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Eine blonde Frau mit ihrem Sohn in Walmart, da sie die Lebensmittel-und Getränkebereich zu nähern, sehen sie ein mexikanischer Mann Blick in die Eier. Der Mann bittet um Hilfe aus der blonden Frau über die Qualität von Eiern. Sie sagt, ABD Eggs sind die besten, so dass die mexikanischen Kerl entscheidet, dass. Beim Verlassen des kleinen Jungen zeigt auf den Mexikaner Jungs Hut und ruft: "Aliens!" die Mutter bekommt wirklich peinlich und ruft ihren Sohn für sein Verhalten und sagt, es ist nicht richtig. Die Mutter wird erleichtert, dass sie sagen, dass die mexikanischen Kerl konnte nicht hören, da er Musik hören. Auf dem Weg aus der Mutter entdeckt einen violetten Flüssigkeit tropft aus der mexikanischen Jungs Haar. Sie fragt ihn, und er antwortet "Sein das Haargel". Die Blondine und Sohn nickt und setzt auf ihr Leben

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Shane Murchan is GAY ..... :L

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My van is coming, I'm gonna get you!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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How do you get three Canadians out of a pool? Say "Hey guys time to get out of the pool."

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A blind guy was reading the newspaper, it said flying cars. I bet he did'nt see that coming!

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knock knock who's there? no one, but I appreciate the fact you asked.

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What did the duck say to the mouse? Quack!

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What did a dodo do after his last meal? Become extinct

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An airplane crashes into a state park. There are no survivors. Susan continues her stroll in the park, considering she is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair, she isn't aware of the nearby disturbance

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2 men shot up a morgue, 16 bodies remain dead

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An Asian teenager bought his first gun, and proceeded to go hunting with his father in the wilderness.

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why couldn't she get back up? She blew up

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Why did the mexican jump when he heard police sirens? The sirens where very lound and abrupt. Therefore startling this mexican man.

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Q: Why was the duck hands down hilarious? A: It wasn't, ducks don't have hands and with human beings able to be equipped with emotions such as to see an object or living organism as funny, do not view these mammals in a humorous manner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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