Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are black violets are too im colorblind how about you

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The battle of Troy lasted approximatley nine years.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths, thus he suffered survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, he just waved.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

this is the part where we na na na na every good song needs a na na na na wake up at night screaming na na na na my grandmothers nickname is nana

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you get a Blonde to switch seats with you? Ask her politely.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your momma is so fat, that her doctor recommended that she goes on a diet in order to prevent early death caused by a heart problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock whose there? child abuse...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Where do babies come from? My garage

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man who was clearly tired and worn out enters a bar. The bartender says "Long night, eh?" The man responds "Yes, very. I was with my girlfriend." The bartender says in response "Well I'm sure that was a fun time, if you know what I'm sayin." "No, not really" says the man. Little did the bartender know, the man's girlfriend was a dominatrix.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the black guy mad at the white guy? Duh, cause the black guy slapped the white guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's red and smells like cherries Cherries

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you do if a Polish soldier throws a hand-grenade at you? Run.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others dont

thumb_up thumb_down -11

man boobs

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Get a ladder and help her down.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why do women wear deodorant and makeup? Because they're ugly and they stink.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A panda bear walks into a bar. The bartender then alerts the zoo of the whereabouts of their missing panda.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a man who leaves his wife and kids to be with another woman? A dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops