Your momma is so fat, that her doctor recommended that she goes on a diet in order to prevent early death caused by a heart problem.

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Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

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A man who was clearly tired and worn out enters a bar. The bartender says "Long night, eh?" The man responds "Yes, very. I was with my girlfriend." The bartender says in response "Well I'm sure that was a fun time, if you know what I'm sayin." "No, not really" says the man. Little did the bartender know, the man's girlfriend was a dominatrix.

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man boobs

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others dont

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What's red and smells like cherries Cherries

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Why was the black guy mad at the white guy? Duh, cause the black guy slapped the white guy.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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What do you call a man who leaves his wife and kids to be with another woman? A dick.

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A panda bear walks into a bar. The bartender then alerts the zoo of the whereabouts of their missing panda.

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What's the difference between me and convicted pedophile? -The pedophile's been caught ;)

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How did Muhammed Ali get into Professional Boxing? With a lot of hard work and dedication.

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How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Get a ladder and help her down.

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Why do women wear deodorant and makeup? Because they're ugly and they stink.

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What do you call someone too young to drink? A minor

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they turned around and went home

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so there are 3 people who have heard of this magical cliff; theyre names are harry, dick, and joe. how the cliff works is that when you jump off you turn into whatever you say as you jump. first harry jumps off and yells plane, he turns into a plane and flys off. next dick jumps off and yells bird he turns into a bird and flys off. finally joe steps up to the cliff as he was walking he trips and falls as hes falling he yells HARRY DICK he than hits the ground and dies. everyone mourned for such a well respected individual.

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What happened to the boy who lost his arm? He got on suprisingly well in life considering he has the use of only one arm, and got a terrific job. He managed to meet a woman, , and he was a generally happy guy. He lived to a great age, and he, nor anyone around him, ever thought of him as different or disabled. It's good to hear a happy anti joke once in a while isn't it guys?

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Q: What do you call a ginger with no soul? A: Common

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Q: What do you call 10 black people in the ocean? A: A family having a good time on an exciting scuba diving tour.

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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Why did Jack got late to his date? Because he was playing Call of Duty and forgot about the time.

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A Priest in a Rabbi walk into a bar. They talk about religion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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