A Jew, an Atheist, and a Muslim walk into a bar. They each drink a bottle, have a conversation, and leave.

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What's brown and sticky? 'Brown' is a colour, and 'sticky' is a consistency. Please try and use correct grammar.

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if life gives you lemons you probably have problems

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because dogs are absent-minded and they don't know any better.

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Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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iPhone's. Amirite? That's not even an anti-joke. Just a joke.

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What did the Anti-Semitic man say to the Jewish man beside him? Hello.

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Q:If a lesbian woman is wearing a jean jacket, high heels, camouflage shorts, and sunglasses, what gender is she ? A: Sheep.

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only downer about having sex in the dark is........................ when u look out window and guy u thought u were sleeping with waving and laugh

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What happens when you mix Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, and Potassium? NaBrO

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How many blonde's does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to hold the ladder and one to peel the carrotts

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(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

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knock knock! who's there? a fat salesperson here to deliver your supplements

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Justin Bieber's Never Say Never 3D came out the other day. I went to see it, and it was a pretty good movie.

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I like to eat people

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I scream You scream We all scream For dead babies

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Q - what did one plate say to the other? A - FOods on me tonight!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rob Rob! I haven't seen you in ages come on in.

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how do you get a black guy out of a tree? ask himnicely and if he doesn't promptly call the fire department

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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