Why don't blind men skydive? Because it would be unwise for a man who can't see to be jumping out of planes, completely unaware of his surroundings.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a guy who hangs around with musicians? A groupie.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How did the boy fly? he had wings.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Dislike if you are gay (watch how many dislikes this joke gets :P)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a really dumb girl with downs? Ashley Howard

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q:Why couldn't the baby walk down the hall way? A: It had a javelin stuck in its head.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the baby with Downs syndrome say to the baby with cancer? Nothing, baby's can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A woman leaves the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did the 3 hispanic men say to the fat guy? you're in our seats

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the man crash a plane into the twin towers? he was a clumsy terrorist going for the sears tower

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call all of the skin around the vagina? a women

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walk into a bar. He then falls down, quickly picks himself up, and continues his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats da difference between a black people and grass. there both black except for the grass.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I used to play Skyrim but then I took an arrow in the knee. Then, I played MW3 until I took a bullet in the elbow. And now, I'm in the hospital wondering why people keep harming me.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the child go to hospital with 52 broken bones,lung and kidney failure,heart disease and cut off penis. because his mum threw a fridge at mikeanator_27

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I'm going to Re-write History... History

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An elephant and a rabbit sit on the forest floor and poop. The elephant asks the rabbit " doesn't it annoy you when the poop sticks to your fur?" "no" replies the rabbit. So the elephant picks up the rabbit and wipes his but with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops