A duck walks by to a lemonade stand. He says to the man running the stand, "Quack."

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What did the scientist call a spider? An arachnid.

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What do you call a black guy driving a Mercedes through New York? A U.S. Citizen

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A blonde, a redhead, and Asian are talking. They are friends.

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Dislike if you are gay (watch how many dislikes this joke gets :P)

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What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF What's white and fluffy? A BUNNY What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF What's brown and fluffy? A PORCUPINE

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How do you starve a celebrity? Tell them they're fat.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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A horse walk into the bar, the bar tender asked, why the long face the horse unable to understand English takes a shit and walk away.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

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What do you call a person at your door? Whatever his name happens to be.

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How is it called a black man piloting a plane? Pilot, you racist!

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You momma's so ugly your dad left her.

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Jim: Knock, knock? Tom: Who's there? Jim: You're. Tom: You're who? Jim: You're a retard. ............................ Tom: You're mean, like a hobbit...

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Whats worse than an offended chicken walking around with a squirrel stapled to its back? A crusty old man with hepatitis peeing on 10 babies.

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what do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? nothing since it is impossible to combine a cat and a dog

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19th amendment

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a coke. The bartender looks at the gentlemen with a little smile and says "Just a coke?"

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A stop sign walks into a bar. Looks like somebody invented walking stop signs.

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Penal Dysfunction

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heres a great game to play... DEATH TO BABIES!

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How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

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Where did the little girl go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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why shouldn't hellen keller drive? because she's a woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops