What does a dog do in his spare time? Lick himself.

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

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If you say woman really fast it sounds like make me a sandwich.

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why was the boy mad at school? something probably upset him.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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What is the difference between a doorknob? Toast.

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im a ginger and i get beat up everyday

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A man runs over a woman with his car, whose fault was it? The woman's for trying to cross the street in the dark without a crosswalk.

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sweats, it is more than the normal amount of sweat.

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Roses are red Violets are red I murdered the gardener

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That Awkward moment when your whole family dies

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

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Q: Why did you fall of that swing? A: Because I'm fat.

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Why is Alex Mann Fat? Because he doesnt eat healthy food.

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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I'll give you a nickel to lick my pickle, a dime to take your time and a quarter if I can f*ck you in the ass

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Knock Knock! I have a door bell, you idiot!

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Knock knock Come in No you supposed to say who's there Oh, who's there? Jennifer Come in No, you supposed to say Jennifer who Oh, Jennifer who? Forget it

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What happened when the roof fell on a young boy? Nothing. He was an orphan.

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What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

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Im Jackson Sinclair and Me and Carter Weeks-69;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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