What did the Man say to the elephant Nothing this man does not speak, the elephant does though

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Potato

thumb_up thumb_down +15

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a duck?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Who's there? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +13

sarah taylor

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A- Knock Knock B- Who's there? A- Soccer!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you stop moles from digging in your garden? Take the shuvel away.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock, Knock Who's there? Joseph. Joseph who? Joseph Brown. Oh, hello Joseph! Why don't you come in? No thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Win and Beau have no friends

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Once, one man had a horse. And the horse had nothing against it

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how to you kill a black man. with a weapon.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Martin go to school with no pants on? Because he had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why was 2 afraid of 3? A: Cause 3 4 5!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than genital warts? Herpes. You can get rid of warts

thumb_up thumb_down +11

No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Are you Drew?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yeah, I assumed so, but I got kinda worried at the same time. Huh... The catchthing says trolololol, no coincidence at all huh? Anyway, take that last comment Nero, I am spent.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops