What does a farmer say when he can't find his tractor? - Where's my tractor?

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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What did the fox say to the blonde? "Hello". The girl then captured the fox and sold it to the government.

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What happened when the roof fell on a young boy? Nothing. He was an orphan.

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A man with no legs walks into a bar.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

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I just read the long joke posted earlier. I have no life. :(

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look left ------------------------------------------------------> i bet you failed.

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar, he relapses.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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What did the dad do immediately do after his child died? Cleaned off the knife.

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Two penguins are in a bathtub, one penguin asks the other "can you pass the soap?" the other penguin says "what do I look like? A toaster?"

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Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

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I'm a like whore

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?.....Why the **** do you care?

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What did one homo say to the other? Well, the politically correct term is homosexual, and he didn't say anything because they've never met.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Jupiter is the Galaxys biggest planet!

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How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm? You look for the black guy.

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Hippopatomous!

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How do you get twenty black men in a tiny car? Saw them into pieces.

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what happend when the car hit the wall? it exploded and 4 people were injured, 2 were bystanders

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Whats worse then any minority? inter-minority breeding.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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