why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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Why did the man not go to church? He was an atheist.

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A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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what do you call a somone who murders someone else? black.

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What did the doctor say when he lost his glasses? Where are my glasses?

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What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

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Wade's the father

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If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

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What's worse than discovering that you have contracted HIV? Stumbling upon a mass genocide. HIV's pretty bad though.

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what did the lion say to the zebra? roar!

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what is the difference between coke and pepsi? -they are competing soft drinks made by different brands

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What is brown and sticky? The substance used to line your stomach when getting your stomach pumped.

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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What happens when you shoot a black man? You go to prison because murder is a criminal offense.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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Would you like a better house, car, spouse, and a better life all together? No, no thanks.

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Got no dick? Then you're probably a girl.

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fjdkhg

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If Jim lives in north carolina, what does that make his dad's brother? Black

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

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what's faster than a snail? Usain Bolt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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