Murder me once, shame on you.

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hi

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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hey what are you eating there? a giant scorpion that tried to rape me.

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Whats the difference between football and basketball? Absolutely everything By darragh Hamilton

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side

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Why did the kid punch the other kid. Because he was black.

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What is big, red, and beats rocks? A big, red, rock beater.

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What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

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No it isn't.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

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How do you get 1000 pokemon on to a bus? Pikachu!

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Why did the girl fall off a cliff? Because it was an Anti-Joke.

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A man runs over a woman with his car, whose fault was it? The woman's for trying to cross the street in the dark without a crosswalk.

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Civil Rights.

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Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are in a room, what are they doing? A: Breathing

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Dani barton= lovely

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What's the difference between a whore and a blonde? There is not enough information to answer this question.

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WNBA

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Knock, knock. Who's there. Death.

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What does a rock become when it falls into the red sea? Wet.

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9/11/2001

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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