Why did the fox cross the road Because it didn't anticipate getting mashed by the passing lorry

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A: Knock! Knock! B: Who's there? A: Kitchen B: Kitchen who? A: GET THERE!

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How do you keep someone in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.

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Girl: what comes after 69? Boy: 70. Girl: no,toothpaste! Boy: ...

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What's worse than dropping your icecream? Slavery

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poke her face? No slap her bum!

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Hi Jacob You cool

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Recent US presidents (and their accompanying economy)

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga A: You pokerface

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a guy gets knocked out and wakes up in a alley all bloody and a knife next to him!!!

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Mr Webb *Hit keyboard loudly* -...

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I went to visit my friend last week (not a guy, guys as friends? Thats just gay, I mean you fuck all of your friends right?) And she was really happy and stuff right? I mean REALLY happy, and the poor thing was depressed for like 8-9 months or something. So I was like: ARE YOU HIGH RIGHT NOW? >:( She said: YEAH I AM HIGH ON LIFE! I looked down at the ground, it contained a full box full of syringes and needles! So I grabbed the whole thing and threw them out! So then I learned what Insulin was anyways. Ps: Depressed, pregnant... Not sure anymore, it was like two weeks ago or something.

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Whats Green and has wheels? Grass, I was kidding about the wheels.

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What sound does a baby make in a blender? Idk, i was too busy masturbating to hear.

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what did Barak Obama order at Dunking Donuts. a donut

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What do A Canary and a Groundhog have in common? Nothing, Groundhogs can fly, and Canaries can't dig.

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A snake walks into a bar

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Whats The Difference Between A Baby And A Watermelon ? You Can Throw One In The Air And Hit It With A Bat , And The Other Ones A Watermelon

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If you were a Transformer, you would be Optimus Fine.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit

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What's the difference between urinating on Lady Gaga and the american flag? It would be wrong to urinate on the American flag.

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what do you call a baby that's just been crushed by a piano. a mess for a cleaner to deal with. think about his health. after that he might get a disease from the body and he might not get to sleep as it is a haunting sight.

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why couldn't the old man play basketball? he lacked the physical dexterity, had asthma, and had no arms.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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