A man with no legs walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats big brown and sticky A sappy oak tree

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had sinned.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do dead people think when they die? Nothing,they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you piss off a female archeologist? Kill her dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did John scream when he came in to his bedroom? He stepped on a nail

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Because one of them looked at him funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

When Life gives you lemons... Squeeze the juice right back into Life's eyes!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Good boy

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man spills his his drink. Like any other man would do, he got some paper towels and some mult-purpose cleaner and proceeded to wipe up the mess. Not a further word was said about the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock. Who's there? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If you looked up stupid in Webster's dictionary, you wouldn't see a picture of yourself, because Webster's dictionary doesn't have pictures.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

- Server, there's a hair in my soup ! - You're right, sir, I'll give you another soup imminently.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What do you get when Justin Bieber gets his own tv show? A: suiside!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If u wanna get high, smoke weed

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are Violets, Violets are Roses, I am a dumb ass, The Hobbit.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than being held hostage? Waking up and finding dick your mouth

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you mix a mexican and a frenchman? A person of mixed racial heritage.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's harder than a rock? The dead baby in my freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops