What did the the Priest do to the young alter boy? Blessed Him

Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

That awkward when you adimaticlly read "moment in your head because you have seen too many of these awkward moment jokes.

Yo momma is so average, she has to maintain her own facebook account...

Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

What's the difference between George Washington and Wiz Khalifa? George Washington died many years ago.

A child with cancer grows up.

(Pretend that your adopted, and no one loves you) Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents.

Ian is cutie!!!!!;)

On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

What's worse than a rainy day? Dropping the soap

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's ... Roses are Red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's (continues)

Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Well the chicken was very confused and had no logical brain power to think or know where it was going. Once he crossed the road he went into the ice cream parlor but was soon kicked out due to lack on communication

why did the man crash a plane into the twin towers? he was a clumsy terrorist going for the sears tower

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear made her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

roses are red, violets are red, my garden is on fire

A rabbi walks into a bar mitzvah

Why was Bill in jail? He stabbed 17 black people because they didn't deserve welfare checks.

Why did sally fall off the wings? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there NOT SALLY HAHAHAHA LOVE YOU JK

Why did the black guy buy spray paint? To paint his fence, to keep it from rotting away.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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