what do you call a deer with no eyes? a deer...

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie.

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I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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What did the Lumberjack say before cutting down the tree? Nothing, it's his job.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Why do people play video games? Because audio games are not as fun.

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Blarg

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The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

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Wanna here a joke? Canadians.

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What do you call a blind fish? Amblyopsidae.

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What causes floods? Too much water.

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Guess what's funny? People voting for their own Anti joke.

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Q: What did the Mexican kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.

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guess what my nephew said today? oh ya i forgot, hes dead..

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roses are blood violets are veins vampires are crazy and you are insane

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wHY DID WILLIAM CHEUNG LICK THE BERILLIAM FUNG, BECause it was fun!

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A girl is on the phone with her boyfriend the boy friend has a rash the girl said put ointment on it ointment cures everything the boyfriend responded not cancer.

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Guns don't kill people. Dangerous minorities do.

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Knock Knock! I have a door bell, you idiot!

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There was a girl who was allergic to peanuts she ate peanuts and died the next day. She got hit by a bus.

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Why couldnt the boy lick his elbows? Because he lost his arms after he was violently beaten by his drunk father with a bat.

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Why didn't the blind girl say hi to anyone? Because she was blind.

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There was a baby, and it wouldnt stop crying. So the mom shook it and shook it. Then it stopped crying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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