roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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You know what I hate long anti-jokes that take up too much space.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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Knock Knock Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you!- Napoleon Dynamite

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas ? Cancer

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What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

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no

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Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice? She was making sure there was enough sugar in it in case her diabetic son was to have an attack.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cancer

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I little 3 year old girl said to her dog "You're my best friend in the whole world" AND THEN THE DOG DIED!

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A man walks into a bar what does he say Ouch

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A flock of ostriches run into a mine field

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What is the difference between a duck?

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If a prisoner got one visitor who would he ask to see An Eskimo

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JEWS

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why did the black boy fall? he had terminal cancer and couldnt stand the pain anymore he died

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate sex Especially with you

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What is another word for a woman that ends in unt. Aunt.

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wheres a place a cancer patient cant go? the hairdressers

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

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Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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