What did the pedophile say to the little girl? "I have a condition and I think it would be healthy for both of us if you stayed within the supervision of your parents"

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Swiggity Swooty. I'm currently in pursuit for that part of your body people refer to as "booty".

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Do you know what big feet mean. Big socks

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Four Iraqis played hide and seek 17 years ago, one of them missing, why? he's still hiding.

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What happens when you shoot chuck norris? he dies

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What do JFK and Hitler have in common? They died.

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A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink. He reaches into his back pocket, but cannot find his wallet. The man was pick pocketed by a skilled thief on his walk to the bar. The man quickly makes calls to cancel his credit cards and minimize the financial loss.

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Whats big, ugly, and sucks? Death.

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Why did the fox cross the road Because it didn't anticipate getting mashed by the passing lorry

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Jacob Edwards has friends.

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when Bonquisha and Letroy had a baby girl what did they name her? Courtney.

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Yo mama's so fat that she took a look at her life and realized she wanted a change so she joined a dieting group and started eating better and exercising more and she got down to her goal weight and now looks and feels better than ever it's very inspirational, good for her.

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how many dead babys can fit in a bathtub 17

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Don't you spell Pewdiepies name like "Pewdipie" than Pew-die-pie? Like who wants to kill a pie?

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Q. What's louder than one dinosaur? A. A whole bunch of dinosaurs.

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A schizophrenic man walks into a bar. He has split personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

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What's red and has wheels a red car....

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What do you call nacho cheese? Stolen.

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Charlie morgans a pussy EDEN HAZARDS A TANK

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Q: Why was George Washington buried on a hill? A: Because he's dead.

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Why did the tomato blush? Because it began to ripen.

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whats woorse then being stupid? kaelynn... aka big head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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