I smacked my crotch with the back end of a hammer. I got a free vasectomy.

Q: Why are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down

Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing.

A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender says "what'll it be?" The bartender is then sent to a medical clinic after letting several wild animals into his bar and proceeding to feed them alcoholic drinks. He is diagnosed with schizophrenia.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

Why didn't the blonde get into college? She was killed in a car accident.

Why did Coolio appear in the joke below? He did not, he was not for real at this particular situation... Well It was actually a typo because some douchebag told me Coolio sang that song and I forgot to change the name after finding the truth... Moral: YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

Dylan Hodge likes to lick his mums penis to sleep every night.

If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

What is an Anti-Joke? This is.

Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

Hgiugsf s8dyfgc sdyhgd©•øˆ????ª•†®???ßßs cdiug dvyg 34t5 fd87 vrry utgg erug 46 5gtyrue fVTU? Tree.

roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

Why does no one we talk about Nagasaki, they got bombed too...

What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

Chapter 6 : The pimp ``scooby`` tells how delivered the poor young people to people with money.

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says: why the long face? Horse: I have cancer

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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