Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Ted Haggard.

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Listen Nero, lol "listen", anyway, you seem pretty quick to take the blame for my mistakes here, I mean sigh... ...I would never send anyone to harass anyone, but then again I should never allowed them to join in the first place, how bad is that eye doing by the way? I am deeply sorry, I never meant for anything like this to happen. I am eating as I write, I mean I am still scared, I would not blame you if you still keep burning anger towards me.

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Why did the Nazi shoot the Jew in the head? Because he was a Jew. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two.

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What do you call a man wearing a costume similar to a stereotypical ghost? A mentally disabled man on halloween.

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Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

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How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

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Yo momma so ugly that she had self esteem issues and committed suicide, making her husband extremely depressed.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Nothing really

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How does a gay take his pants off? Just like everybody else

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What did the 4 year old black kid ask his father for Christmas? A yo-yo. nah im just kidding he doesnt know who his father is.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? silence... Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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24

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What other than water contains H2O? The condensation reaction between two alpha glucose molecules to form Maltose.

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A fat guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "the regular?" The fat man replies, "actually this time I wanna try something different."

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Person 1: What did the woman say when - Person 2: I know! It doesnt matter, shes a woman

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What do you call one lawyer shot dead in the street? Ghandi.

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A man runs into a bar. He is instantly knocked out.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he, he's blind.

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Gauss what ur mama said last night nothing i found her dead

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What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

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what did the women say when she found out that superman was clark kent. i know that you are superman clark kent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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