What's grey got white stripes and can't climb trees? Car park.

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What did the boy do when he was bored and broke? He took to the streets selling illicit drugs such as cocaine. Although dangerous, the rush from said danger solved his boredom problem. On top of this, there is a huge market for such substances and he was not broke for much longer.

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if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hello. We would like to talk about Jesus with you.

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What did the pastor say to the rabbi? Hi (or some other greeting)

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Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road? He wasn't, and in fact was entirely unaware that said road existed given the fact that he was deceased; and therefore lacked any sensory organs and motor functions associated with crossing roads.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Elton. Elton who? Elton John

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What's ur favorite color? Cancer Made by mark

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Two girls walk into a bar. One ducks.

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Knock knock Who's there Your son and his vagina.

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Want to hear a tough toung twister? spoons

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Josh Hamilton walks into a bar.

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How do you keep someone in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.

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Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

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why do black people hate chainsaws? the noise they make- run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run nigga nigga

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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What's funnier than Man on Woman domestic abuse? Nothing.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nematode's. A Nematode is a type of round worm that lives under water, and while most are carnivorous, some feed on vegetation, such as pineapples.

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no

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what do outgoing girls get on spring break? raped.

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knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

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What's longer then Hitlers gas bill Chris Browns Penis

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Why couldn't the black guy enter the room? He was too large to fit through the doorway therefore he turned around and left

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There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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