On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

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How did the boy fly? he had wings.

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George Michael walks into a bathrom.....

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What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

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ROSS G IS OBESE

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How do you get an Irishman out of a bar? You politely ask him to leave.

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Roses are white, tulips are white, wait whos been masturbating in my garden!

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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a guy walked into a bar and said "ow!"

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Why did the Nazi shoot the Jew in the head? Because he was a Jew. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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what do outgoing girls get on spring break? raped.

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your on a bus and you ask your math teacher if you got the answers on the homework right and the bus crashes in the middle of an intersection.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the retard's house *knock knock* who's there? the chicken

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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You're in a room with your friend, and you see some one being eaten by a monster. Who's getting eaten? No one, monsters aren't real.

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The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

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What's funnier than poop? More poop

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Listen Nero, lol "listen", anyway, you seem pretty quick to take the blame for my mistakes here, I mean sigh... ...I would never send anyone to harass anyone, but then again I should never allowed them to join in the first place, how bad is that eye doing by the way? I am deeply sorry, I never meant for anything like this to happen. I am eating as I write, I mean I am still scared, I would not blame you if you still keep burning anger towards me.

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Ted Haggard.

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What do you call a man wearing a costume similar to a stereotypical ghost? A mentally disabled man on halloween.

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How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two.

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Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Nothing really

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops