What is the best thing about chuck norris? hes holding a gun to my hea

Knock Knock Who's there? A Kid With ADD A Kid With AD- Oh Look! A Squirrel!

Hey

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

What do you call a seven foot Egyptian named Randy who trains leopards to uproot floral cactuses? Randy.

What did the cancer patient do during Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair"? -Nothing.

What is annoying and orange? An annoying orange.

Why do jewish women like to get their sons circumcised? They like anything 25% off.

Why did the creator of Anti-Joke.com make the website? Because he probably wanted to promote his book and make more money.

Your time.

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face. Why was the little girl sad? Because it was her frog.

If there are 500 bricks in an airplane and one falls out how many are there in he plane? 499. Name 3 steps to get a Elephant in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2. Put the Elephant in the fridge 3. Close the fridge Name 4 steps to get an Deer in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2.Take the Elephant out of the fridge 3. Put the Deer in the fridge 4. Close the fridge The Lion King is having a birthday party. Every animal came, besides one. Who was it? The Deer. Because hes trapped in the Fridge. The Deer manages to escape the fridge, and hes running late. he encounters Crocodile lake. How will he cross it? He will swim through it because the Crocodiles are at the Lion Kings birthday. Then suddenly, The Deer dies. How? The Brick hit him.

do you know what i see in the perfect girl? my dick.

Two penguins were taking a bath. One said "pass the soap." The second penguin replied, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"

I just flew in from Chicago and boy are my legs cramped

what did eminem say to dr.dre? nothing u idoits dr.dres dead he is locked in my basement

wanna hear a joke? not really

Farts smell bad!

"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

Why was Bill in jail? He stabbed 17 black people because they didn't deserve welfare checks.

Why did the computer crash? Because the driver transporting the computer to his friend lost control of his vehicle.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? KFC was on the other side

What do you call a mexican riding a lawnmower? Promoted

-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? Dog shit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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