5

(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

Do you wanna hear a Ebola joke? You probably won't get it

How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock The person you are seeking is deaf and cannot hear the sound that is made when your knuckles come in contact with the door. Try calling next time..........

Why do dogs lick their balls? Why? Because they can.

Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

There was this women at a banana festival, but she didn't like bananas. So she split

How are a grape and a duck alike? They're both purple... except for the duck.

Why Is Jarrod spencer gay Coz he is

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

What's red and green and goes around and around? A frog in a blender

Two scientists walk into a bar. One says "I'll have H20", the other says "I'll have a beer." The first one is the one to drive them to their homes.

did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? hes all right now

What Does the Duck Say? "Got any grapes?"

69

a man asked another man what time its it. The man responded by telling him the time and asking why he wanted to know. "thats none of your business" he replied. Why did he say it was none of his business? A- because it was none of his business.

Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

how do you kill a jew? inject him/her with gratuitous amounts of cyanide until they cease to have brain function and a pulse.

What do you call a blind fish? Amblyopsidae.

Sally sold seashells by the seashore but she didnt make any money of course. seashells on the shore can be picked up off the beach for free

What do you get wen u cross a cat and a walrus? Two animals with very different life styles.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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