I know Mandarin, He's a good friend of mine

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Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

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What's the difference between me and a ghost? Ghosts aren't Dolphins!

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Yo momma is so fat I really feel sorry for her.

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Q:What did the hillbilly say when he lost his tractor? A: Where is my tractor

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knock knock.. who's there? ted? ted, who? STOP f***ing around, you got cancer!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ..... he didn't

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What's more addicting than a good book? Meth

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what did Santa Claus say to Nikki Minaj? I really admire your musical talents

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- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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milk,eggs,butter,deodorant,chocolate syrup,chile powder,dildo,bacon

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What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas ? Because sadly his father is an alcoholic and cant support him nor his family.

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if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

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What do you get when you mix your mom and your dad? YOU!!!

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Billy comes home from playing with his friend as he walks to his front yard he comes across his mother...she is dead on the floor his friend then says "im SO sorry your mom is dead but at least you still have your dad" Billy than replies "my mom is my dad" billy then is put into a foster home and spends years trying to recover from the fact that he is the freak offspring of a hermaphrodite

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What other than water contains H2O? The condensation reaction between two alpha glucose molecules to form Maltose.

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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's alright now.

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why?

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R.I.P Ryan Dunn.

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A man walks into a bar, and he says, "ow,".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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