Why did the man not make any change at his job? Because he is Barack Obama.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My van is coming, I'm gonna get you!

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A seal walks into a club. Do you like my new shoes?

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Why did the creator of Anti-Joke.com make the website? Because he probably wanted to promote his book and make more money.

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What did one gorilla say to the other? Urgh.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses can also be white And violets can also be purple

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Your mamma is so fat that she went on a diet.

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say this really fast D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I CK, D I C K IF YOU CANT LIKE IT

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why do people just recycle the same jokes over and over are you that desperate for some f*cking attention? The Holocaust

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1. In 2010, 8.8 million people fell ill with Tuberculosis. 2. Up to 70,000 children died in 2010 due to Tuberculosis. 3. Tuberculosis is the leading killer of people living with HIV with 1.4 million deaths. 4. Death from Tuberculosis has dropped 40% since 1990. 5. No country has ever eliminated Tuberculosis entirely. 6. About 46 million Tuberculosis patients have been successfully treated since 1995. 7. Children under 5 years old rarely get the disease. 8. Edgar Allen Poe’s mother, foster mother, and wife all died of Tuberculosis. 9. It can take up to 12 months to recover from Tuberculosis. 10. People with tuberculosis have symptoms such as cough that “won’t go away”, a cough that brings up blood, a fever lasting longer than 2 weeks, night sweats, fatigue, or noticeable amounts of acute weight loss. 11. Nearly 2 million people die from tuberculosis yearly. 12. Tuberculosis kills 5,000 people daily.

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If I could change one thing about the alphabet, knd stte bporw xzuor flllle !

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There was an Irishman and an Australian who walked into a bar. There was also an American, who didn't. Why didn't the American walk into the bar? He was a midget.

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Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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q

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What did the African do when he found out he was constipated? He ate a laxative and went to the toilet

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what did the boy say to the girl? make me a sandwich.

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A black man walks into a bar. A few minutes later a jewish man enters. Next door, a twelve year old girl is crying over the tragic death of her mother due to terminal cancer.

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hey guys check out my cool youtube video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivQ_bezJjK0

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Knock Knock Come in

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How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie into in!

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Why did Bill yell? Because he stepped on a nail.

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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