What did the man do when he walked into the gym? Died of a brain aneurysm.

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Ask me if i am a tree are you a tree? no

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Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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Why did the mother have a club in her hands covered with red liquid? She spilled her bloody murry while playing golf.

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? "Hey Joe, how's the family?"

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What did the white guy say to the black guy wearing a black T-shirt? That's a very nice shirt.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he wasn't happy!

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What happened to the peanut who went to NYC? Nothing because he was eaten on the plane

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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What's white or grey or brown or green or black or yellow or purple ? Could be almost anything, really.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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That didn't hurt.

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Smart Blondes

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Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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What happened to the blonde who walked up to the vending machine? She got a snack and went on with her day.

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Knock Knock Who's there its me... we need to talk go away tod. i told you never to come back here babe, just open the door why? so you can beat me again? i said i was sorry! i just want to see my little girl... well maybe you should of been there for us! babe... i love you you lying son of a bitch... you dont deserve us open the damn door or i will beat it down im calling the cops YOU BETTER NOT BITCH! I WILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU! tod... please... get out come here no... NO! get the hell off of me!!!! HELP!! RAPE!! RAPE!!! SHUT UP WHORE (crying) please... please... ...mommy? SARAH! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! MOMMY LOVES YOU! ooh.. theres my little girl. you miss daddy? GET AWAY FROM HER!!! SHUT UP BITCH! come give daddy a hug what have you done to mommy? what you want some too? SARAH I SAID GET OUT THE HOUSE! GET HELP! ...mommy im scared... (sob) oh your crying? you want something to cry about? OH ILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT! .... you better get the hell out of here tod.. whoah... babe where did you get a gun GET OUT babe... put the gun down... relax NO YOU RELAX! all these years ive been raising this baby. without you. all by myself. and i dont want you in the picture now. ILL DO WHAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE ill see you in hell... (BANG) (BANG)

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Knock, Knock! Who's There? Your neighbor, I found your lost cat! Oh thanks!

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what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

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Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

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Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: 9/11 jumpers 200 stories in 5 seconds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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