friends are like potatoes you eat them they die

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I have no ideas.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

a man walks into horse bar

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock Knock. Who's there? Nancy Nancy who? Nancy.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts. What's invisible and smells like rabbit farts? Carrots, if you're blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats more crazy? Stabbing someone or killing someone? I don't know thats why I am asking you

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A Black man a Chinese man and a Jew walk in to a bar. Black man: nice place they got here Asian man: yeah I remember when it used to be that old hardware store Jew: Henry's, i think it was called Aisian man: must have been there for at least 10 years or so

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what is the difference between babies and trampolines? you take your shoes off when jumping on a trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

a car drives off a cliff whos driving? an asin woman!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than a tornado that kills your whole whole family? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I had a grammar lesson yesterday. I learned how to speak more good.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

an englishman an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar there was no welshman. they didn't phone him due to his uncontrollable thirst for violence

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be." The bear mauls his face off and kills several other patrons before police show up and fire three rounds in it's face.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the plan crash? Because the pilot was a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Yo momma is so average, she has to maintain her own facebook account...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Want to hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the Mexican cross the road? To get home.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why do women hate getting shot? They die.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? There are certainly innumerable differences, but, in general, humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops