Whats red and hurts when you bite into it? A brick.

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Why you so fat... Because you have an eating problem fatass...

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George Bush does not care about black people.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his dying grandma in the hospital

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 1027

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Whos the best Jewish Cook? Hitler.

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What's worse than finding Michael V. in your class? Finding Curtis W. in there instead\

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There were three people on a plane, the plane crashed and they all died.

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Knock Knock Hows there Theres no time for this you have AIDS

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Man goes fishing.... Catches Fish.

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Where is Madeline McCann? 6 Feet under....

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Why did Jimmy go to the doctor? He had just been hit by a semi truck and his legs were severed. He died later that night.

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What do you do when you need shade? CALL RAYSEAN

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

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What's the difference between George Washington and Wiz Khalifa? George Washington died many years ago.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is impossible to tell because we cannot communicate with chickens, but we can assume there was something of interest over there.

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What do you call a Muslim running a country? Obama

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Two girls walk into a bar. One ducks.

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Blonde walks into a bar. Man walks up to blonde and says a pick-up line. Blonde says "Crap, this is a gay bar?"

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What's chris benoit doing? Just hangin in the gym

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your mamas so fat her weight is 3.14 without the decimal

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If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

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What other than water contains H2O? The condensation reaction between two alpha glucose molecules to form Maltose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops