Q-What happened to the kid who thought he could fly A-his head exploded while he was sitting in a microwave

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Why did the black guy cross the road? To save the endangered child from getting hit by a car across the street.

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What do you say when you take a nasty shit in you friends bathroom? There's some nasty shit in there.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Do you want to hear the best joke ever? Me too!

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A guy walks into a bar. The universe instantly shatters around him under the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through the void amongst the shards of his broken reality. This is the worst joke ever.

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Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

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What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

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A man walked into a bar. He did this because he was blind and could not see the obstacle in his path.

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And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

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Q: What did the chinese man say to the other Chinese man? A: I don't know, I don't sneak Chinese

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what do you call a kid without arms and legs? names

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms. A: Knock knock! B: Who's there? A: Not Sally.

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Matt Damon

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What do you call 200 black men jumping from a plane? Night

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Me: Hey, Johnny! Do you see that Tree? Johnny: No. Me: Neither do I.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I'm a bush. Are you a bush? No.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The Holocaust. And also cancer.

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Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

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what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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