Yo momma so thin, she admitted herself into an in-patient counseling center for anorexic and bulimic patients.

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What did the cop do when he saw two Mexicans buying coke? Warned them of the health risks of drinking carbonated soft drinks.

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3 penguins meet each other in penguin #1's backyard for a pool party. The first penguin climbs up the steps of the water slide gets to the top, looks around and then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The second penguin climbs up the steps, looks around then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The third penguin hastily climbs the steps and slides down the slide radio -Soulbroker

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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God bless America, and no where else.

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What's the tallest building in the world? A library cause it has so many stories get it haha.

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roses are red, vilots are blue wan't you in my bed if you know what i mean ;)

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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How do you confuse a person from France? By screaming in english at the sky while pionting at him.

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color?

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W.N.B.A.

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What did the prostitute eat for lunch? Nothing because she was too busy performing oral sex for money.

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What's green and has wheels? A snow flake. I lied about the wheels, and the color.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Elephants cant jump Neither can amputees

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If she's old enough for jail, than shes old enough to rail.

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What's the resemblance between a chicken? Its legs are approximately equal, especially the left one.

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A pussy walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bar keeper asks " why are you such a pussy!" The pussy then says, "it's not my fault I'm a cat!" before getting run over

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Why did the man die from drinking the water? It wasn't water, it was acid.

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Your mother is so black...because she recently suffered a horrible accident with fire and has irreparable skin damage.

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Why did Captain Hook die? He wiped.

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Whats funny about black people getting shot by whites We can steal our bikes back now

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If you were a Transformer, you would be Optimus Fine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops