Roses are black. Violets are grey. I'm a dog...

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Blonde walks into a bar. Man walks up to blonde and says a pick-up line. Blonde says "Crap, this is a gay bar?"

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What's chris benoit doing? Just hangin in the gym

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Q: Why was 2 afraid of 3? A: Cause 3 4 5!

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder of a 7 year old child.

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Once, one man had a horse. And the horse had nothing against it

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Dead babies and disabled kids. Jews, mexicans and black people. Hitler and prostitutes. Sex sex sex sex sex.

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A Woman decides she wants to stop making sanwiches for her sexist boyfriend. She walks away and lives a happy life. In hell.

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Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

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What do you get when you mix a dog with speeding bus? Nothing, you can't mix those two things.

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Q.What do you call a apple with a unibrow? A. A failed science experiment!!!

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I know Mandarin, He's a good friend of mine

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Knock Knock Hows there Theres no time for this you have AIDS

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How do you get an Irishman out of a bar? You politely ask him to leave.

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A- Knock Knock B- Who's there? A- Soccer!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

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What do you call a pakistani with a backpack on a plane? A passenger with ordinary hand luggage

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"My foot is killing me" "no, actually it's that noose around your neck"

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How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

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whats faster than the speed of light? a jew with a coupon

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What did Michael Jackson think when someone threw a tomato off his head? The same as he was thinking before it happened, because everything that goes through Michael Jackson's head is pornographic images.

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What's the difference between George Washington and Wiz Khalifa? George Washington died many years ago.

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops