What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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John: Hey Bill, ORANGE you in the mood to go to a Phillies game? Bill: Yes! So let's make like a banana and raise our potassium levels drastically and leave right away to beat the rush hour traffic.

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How old are you? 20

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why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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JEWS

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Buy one packet of condoms for the price of two packets of condoms, and you will be given a second packet of condoms ABSOLUTLEY FREE!

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no

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knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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What's worse than genital warts? Herpes. You can get rid of warts

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A woman should not be in the kitchen.

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Kah-________-

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Win and Beau have no friends

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A-B-C-D-E-F-G-R-U-D-T-F With me

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How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

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Vagina ass.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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What happened to the man that jump out of the airplane with no parachute? He landed on a baby and both died almost instantly. The authorities were called and they took care of the situation flawlessly.

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how did little johnny die? i killed him

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What time is it when grandpa sits ontop of a telephone pole and throws pineapples at people? Time to go to a nursing home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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