Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a fish.

What do you call a guy who hangs around with musicians? A groupie.

How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

When crossing the river, why the old lady die? She was hit by a falling brick that fell from an airplane.

What's worse than stubbing your toe? playing spin the bottle with your mom

Your mom is SO ugly, I entered her in an ugly contest, and she came in fourth place!

Why was 6 afriad of 7? Because 7 is a rapist.

Why didn't the skeleton go to th party? Because he was dead.

What do you call a dog that's half poodle, half bulldog? A dog.

Why was Bill in jail? He stabbed 17 black people because they didn't deserve welfare checks.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE

What's worse than your family dying in a fire? Nothing, that really sucks.

Why was the fat person sad? Because he was fat.

What did the pie say to the other pie? "I'm hungry" So he ate the other pie.

What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

Why was there two girls at the movie? They wanted to see the movie together.

What did the homeless man without legs and arms, get for Christmas? ... Cancer

Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

What is yellow and has thick, shiny fur? A banana. I lied about the fur.

George Bush does not care about black people.

Whats similar between a grape and a duck? They're both purple. except not the duck.

Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

Three blokes walk into a bar. I'm british.

What do a a pickle and a rabbit have in common? They are both green...except the rabbit

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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